Canadian Government Executive - Volume 24 - Issue 02

March/April 2018 // Canadian Government Executive / 43 • Confront your gender biases: Be alert to the gender stereotypes you have absorbed, such as she is not as committed to her career as men are, or if she takes on a greater burden at work she will be abandoning her responsibilities to family. In their interviews with mentors, the authors found a number talked of times when they held back from recommending a woman for a promotion because she had children. Let her make the decision; don’t try to make it for her. The authors say they can nearly guarantee that the talented women you mentor will encounter such biases daily – the more male-dominated the workplace, the more per- vasive the gender bias. Don’t add to it. And that will be difficult as these biases operate below conscious awareness. “To the ex- tent that you develop a broad, inclusive, flexible view of gender – one driven by fewer myths and stereotypical attitudes about women -- you will probably become a more successful husband, father and friend,” they stress. • Understand your “man scripts”: Your relationships with adult women have been influenced by the father-daughter dynamic; the warrior/knight stereotype of rescuing the damsel in dis- tress; and the seducer-seductress theme. Mentoring isn’t any of that, so guard against those instincts. You may want to help her, but that doesn’t mean she is a damsel in distress you must save. She’s not your daughter, needing you to father her. And, of course, this is not about seduction. “Face your man scripts and refuse to let them jeopardize your mentoring relationships with women! First, become more self-aware and explore your own pattern of relating to women generally. Second, spend time with the women you mentor and be deliberate about building a strong friendship; greater trust will reduce the need to resort to stereotypical roles. Finally, if you discover you are enacting any of the scripts … avoid overreacting and withdrawing from the mentorship. Manage your own discomfort with intimacy or at- traction responsibly. Sudden aloofness and avoidance are never constructive,” they advise. • Be a role model: Set the tone for inclusivity by your actions in the workplace. Inquire about the experiences of women in the workplace and help address problems. Promote formal mentor- ing programs, especially those targeting women. • Practise humility: You’ve never been a woman so don’t assume you know everything about them. Laura Behling, dean and vice- web http://canadiangovernmentexecutive.ca/author/harveys/ president for academic affairs at Knox College, told the authors: “One of the challenges with a male-female mentorship is simply understanding that the women that you’re mentoring are not men.” Don’t assume, either, that women are all the same; she is an individual. Ideally, let the mentee know at the start that you don’t understand her experiences and do your best afterwards to understand her career in her terms. At the same time, the authors stress she is more like you than you think when it comes to talents, career aspirations, and dreams about a sustainable work-life balance. Bear in mind that the same things you share and do with a male mentee will often be just as helpful and ap- propriate for a female mentee. The authors also remind you that you are not the first or most important man in her life. But they urge you to play the role you can – to take the initiative and be all in. Women need mentors. Of- ten that involves male mentors. Examine yourself – your motive, behaviours, caveman impulses – and then help. H arvey S chachter is a writer, specializing in management and business issues. He writes three weekly columns for the Globe and Mail and The Leader’s Bookshelf column for Canadian Government Executive, and a regular column and features for Kingston Life magazine. Harvey was editor of the 2004 book Memos to the Prime Minister: What Canada Can Be in the 21st Century. He was the ghostwriter on The Three Pillars of Pub- lic Management by Ole Ingstrup and Paul Crookall, and editor of Getting Clients, Keeping Clients by Dan Richards. The Leader’s Bookshelf “One of the challenges with a male-female mentorship is simply understanding that the women that you’re mentoring are not men.” Don’t assume, either, that women are all the same; she is an individual.