Canadian Government Executive - Volume 24 - Issue 03

A t work we are often trying to satisfy a bundle of expectations, which can be boiled down to those expectations we place upon ourselves and those placed by others. In government, of course, those outer expectations can be powerful, handed down from the public, the minister, and our immediate boss. But we all react differently, weighing those ex- pectations not just by the specific issue but more generally by our personality disposition. Under- standing that personality tangle can help us to understand ourselves and how to deal better with colleagues. For that, Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies can be indispensable. The four tendencies as she outlines them in her book are: • Upholders respond readily to both outer and in- ner expectations. • Questioners question all expectations; they meet an expectation only if they feel it’s justified, so in effect, they respond only to inner expectations. • Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations. • Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. “Our Tendencies are hardwired: They’re not the result of birth order, parenting style, religious up- bringing, gender. They’re not tied to extroversion or introversion. They don’t change depending on whether we’re at home, at work, with friends. And they don’t change as we age. We bring these Ten- dencies into the world with us,” she writes. People often assume they are a mixture of the tendencies. But she says to a degree that even surprises her, most people fall squarely into one of the four camps. But history and circumstances can play an influence. It’s unlikely you would be a Questioner in North Korea. To the extent your of- fice resembles North Korea, that may mean you are different at work from outside work. To identify your Tendency, you must consider many examples of your behaviour, as well as the reasons for those behaviours. As an example, both a Questioner and a Rebel might reject an expec- tation, but their thinking sets them apart. The Questioner feels: “I won’t do it because it doesn’t make sense.” On the other hand, the Rebel would be thinking: “I won’t do it because you can’t tell me what to do.” Her study has shown that people feel that the Obliger and the Rebel tendencies are the most chal- lenging, whether from feeling such a Tendency or from dealing with them. “I sometimes get the im- pression that people try to figure out the ‘best’ Ten- dency and shoehorn themselves into it. But there’s no best or worst Tendency. The happiest, healthi- est, most productive people aren’t those from a particular Tendency, but rather they’re the people who have figured out how to harness the strengths of their Tendency, counteract the weaknesses, and build the lives that work for them,” she notes. Recognizing your own Tendency can help you tweak situations to increase your odds of success. It’s unlikely you can change your own nature, but you can change the situation to suit your Tendency and thrive, by such things as striving for more clar- ity, justification, accountability or freedom. “On the flip side, when we understand others’ Tendencies, we’re more tolerant of them. For one thing, we see that a person’s behaviour isn’t aimed at us personally,” she adds. She argues that knowing somebody’s Tendency makes it easier to encourage or persuade them, while avoiding conflict. If you ignore the Tenden- cies, you may be sinking your chances. If you are an Upholder and keep lecturing a Rebel, that person will only increase their desire to resist. If you’re a Questioner, you probably try to explain everything rationally when giving directions, but an Obliger will follow directions without question and those logical reasons aren’t needed. Her book offers 12 questions to determine your Tendency. Here are three: 1. Have you kept a New Year’s resolution where you weren’t accountable to anyone? a. Yes, I’m good at keeping New Year’s resolutions, even the ones no one knows about but me. b.I’m good at keeping resolutions, but I make them whenever the time seems right. I wouldn’t wait for the New Year; January 1 is an arbitrary date. c. I have trouble with that kind of resolution, so I’m not inclined to make one; when I’m only helping myself, I struggle. d.No, I hate to bind myself in any way. The Four Tendencies By Gretchen Rubin Harmony Books, 257 pages, $32.00 42 / Canadian Government Executive // May/June 2018 The Leader’s Bookshelf By Harvey Schachter Book Review: The Four Tendencies